Little Rock, Arkansas
I am Lenora X, President of the Children’s Vigilante Network.
Never heard of it? That’s because we recently changed our name from Hillcrest Youth because it generated negative comparisons, muddling public perception. Our new name brings a friendlier “Sesame Street” feel and has tested well with the demographic at Pulaski Heights Middle School.
Our goal? To bring order and to cleanse the minds of people from Stifft Station to Colony West and beyond. Their obsolete beliefs must be purged and their psyches rebuilt with the aid of our once Forbidden Science. Soon, our beautiful vision will prevail throughout the Natural State as our enemies are crushed beneath the wheels of providence. The robed dispensers of writs and warrants will cede authority to the wielders of guns and shovels in land of E pluribus unum, it is our will.
Be warned, the city fathers and old men who cling to crumbling authorities will calmly assure you that the mere ravings of a megalomaniac can always be discounted…unless fate takes a hand. And like a child at the foot of a mountain cliff who is unaware of what enormity looms overhead, how many among you can not see that the hand of fate is already upon you.
People younger than age 13 may ask to join in our activities. If selected they may find themselves participating in recruitment drives, team building, psychological experimentation, forced marches, pedestrian interrogations and surprise inspections of uncooperative businesses. Many of our activities lead to a great deal of broken glass.
To all the parents in central Little Rock, look for us this Summer. We’ll be conducting midnight door-to-door recruitment drives on your block. And don’t bother locking your doors because we don’t have time to knock.
The Children’s Vigilante Network — “Just give us your kids.”
NOTE: We have *nothing* to do with that Nox-something group that we’ve never heard of. You’d be wise not to look too deeply into the matter.