Twisted Human Sculpture of Mental Disease

This happened at the Arkansas State Hospital a while back, as far as you know. I make no claim to this tale’s accuracy, but “You can’t make this stuff up” as the Bible says.

There was a computer glitch and the steel doors that hold back all the habitual sex offenders burst open and about two hundred level-4 violent sexual predators poured into the streets and charged northward. About twenty of them died immediately while crossing Markham street; getting hit by rampaging ReadyMix trucks but the remaining 180 offenders fondled their way north, to freedom.

Upon arriving at the edge of Arkansas River, they lunged into the filthy water like lemmings. A hundred drowned instantly but their floating corpses clung together as if they were gruesome, oversized Rice Crispies, forming a raft which the survivors clambered upon, like a bunch of fire-ants.

It was on this raft that the men climbed upon one another, forming fleshy stalagmites which leaned and grew into each other culminating in a gothic spire with the most depraved men at the spire’s tip. These madmen contorted themselves into a twisted human sculpture of mental disease; a sculpture which was now slowly drifting toward North Little Rock. Innocent onlookers on the awaiting riverbank reeled in terror as the nightmare crept closer.  Horrified spectators fled the riverwalk after witnessing the men writhing and struggling for carnal dominance within the abomination, which itself transformed into other familiar architectural shapes from moment to moment, such as churches and ranch-style homes. The raft eventually lapped upon the virginal shores of NLR and disintegrated into its individual components of psychopathic sex criminals, each of whom proceeded to offend his way further north toward the Argenta Farmers Market.

Upon arrival at the market, a shocked and terrified throng of doe-eyed gentry scattered like blackbirds, leaving only quaint troughs of glistening produce alone with the angry horde of sex criminals. Cantaloupes were the first to fall prey, but every manner of vegetable was subject to an unspeakable outrage. Sparing you the horrific details, within one hour the depraved creatures were all satisfied, sexually.

There is no record as to what happened next, but it is rumored that the men traveled west and settled down in San Mateo, California, where they prospered in dry goods.

By Forbidden Hillcrest



20 comments on “Twisted Human Sculpture of Mental Disease
  1. Eric Francis says:

    Wow. I must've not been at the farmer's market that day. Overslept, I guess.

  2. Shockingly excellent writing.

  3. It's like Cormac, Jaqueiline, and Hunter S. all took acid together and went to Riverfest

  4. Tim Moritz says:

    "twisted human sculpture of mental disease"… hello, Lifetime network!

  5. Paul Carr says:

    we need to get you to play the stalwart hospital administrator who had been calling for stronger steel doors.

  6. Tim Moritz says:

    …and the irony is my family reunion in the front lobby of ASH on the day of the breakout.

  7. Paul Carr says:

    Tim Moritz I hope none of you were befouled.

  8. Tim Moritz says:

    does befouled=cornholed?

  9. Paul Carr says:

    Tim Moritz not necessarily, but that would lead to befoulment. Ideally, you could attend your family reunion without any type of forced intercourse at all, but you would probably need to hold the event somewhere besides a lunatic repository to insure that.

  10. And you posted this on my birthday… hmmmm… This may explain my ex-husbands. Thanks for the heads up… so to speak.

  11. Donavan Suitt says:

    I remember this!

  12. Todd Nolte says:

    i HAVE seen a naked dude or two running across that field towards markham…

  13. Brady Crisp says:

    Hahaha….I do remember a couple of their 'residents' wandering off and through the first floor of Jeff Banks when we were there (they sorta fit in)….good times

  14. Trey Bailey says:

    Totally remember that place. ;P

  15. Brad Sims says:

    I know this is a fiction because NLR has neither "virginal shores" nor "doe-eyed gentry."

  16. Jennifer Steck says:

    fondled their way north, to freedom. << best part of the story. AND…I live in Lakewood..where the hell are these sex maniacs? I'm a middle aged woman with …..needs!

  17. Jennifer Glass says:


  18. Eric Rathman says:

    For all we know, you were one of them!

  19. Todd Nolte says:

    The ASH Cantina has (or used to have) awesome frito chili pies!
    (Take your badge from UAMS to get back out…)

  20. Keith Meehan says:

    funny but not true